What the fuck am I talking about?
Where do I start?
I think I have to start with Showing Up.
There’s this lady I’ve known for a long time. La Tara V. Bussey.
I can’t remember if I first met her on SoloMasterminds or Ryze – but it was one of the mid-level work at home networking groups that I connected with back in 2006 or so. Anyway, she’s this wickedly awesome, one of a kind, on fire for God types. Which could be kind of a problem – since I’ve been tussling with God a bit lately…
I quite honestly have been much more of an independent brat than a diligent and devoted daughter of God lately (and personally I’m okay with that, but some of my friends won’t get that…just chill, k? I got this and I’m not looking for outside opinions on faith and religion at the moment).
Despite that – something attracted to me to this program she was running – called The 90 Day Show Up Challenge.
And I have to be honest – I only showed up (as in reading the emails and keeping up with the program) for about 8 days. We’re currently on day 52 and I’m far, far behind. But that’s okay. Really.
Learning to be authentic means realizing that sometimes my flaws are always going to be my flaws and I’m better off accepting that and figuring shit out anyway instead of allowing myself to flounder and get stuck! (I’m learning so many lessons that I’m having trouble keeping track – but it’s all gelling and coming together)
Because even if I’m not doing it properly (and I don’t think I’ve ever done any system or program in my life properly!) it’s still having a huge impact on my reality. And I’m loving it.
Even though it’s leading to unexpected, life altering consequences.
1) leaving one of my oldest and dearest motherhood forums. (I promised a blog post to former forum friends about that decision and it is coming…soonish). That was about a month ago…
2) quitting my day job in a completely unprofessional and totally cathartic temper tantrum. (That was this past Friday)
3) Finally began the legal process beginning with filing a parenting order (just about 6 weeks ago – the appointment was at the end of October and the caseflow conference in December 9th…eek!)
4. Quit smoking. On my birthday. 18 days ago. I haven’t cheated, not once – been tempted just a smidge…but not enough to cave – even in the middle of a move when I found a hidden butt and a lighter…27 years and one day I quit. They said it would happen when I was ready but wow – every day out I get stronger in the belief that I am and will continue to be a non-smoker. That’s huge!
5. Started to write my book – That was yesterday…I have oodles of notes and a glimmer of a title – okay two work in progress titles that may or may not end up in the finished project at the end of this journey.
6. Backed off a podcast project that was taking me in not quite the right direction…well it was doing so in such a way that it was going to be a distraction and take away from my life rather than integrating into it…so I stopped and re-tooled. This is huge – in the past I may have forced it into being just to not look stupid and flaky.
So yeah – lots of huge – and there’s actually way, way more than that.
But I don’t want to bore you. Even though it’s really kind of exciting stuff. But I think everything is interesting…so there is that.
I aim to have the first draft of my book together by the end of the month. Yeah, I know. Crazy, right? Except that it’s not when it’s just doing the NaNo a month late – except that this isn’t fiction…it’s truth and that (as we all know) is even stranger.
Stay tuned for details…won’t you?
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