I’ve mentioned a time or two before that I am not enthralled with the current trend to attribute all abuse to narcissism and treating them as one and the same. I don’t think it’s a good thing that we’re blaming it on psychopathy, making a diagnosis that we aren’t qualified to give. It seems like pop psychology at best.
I don’t think it serves the awareness cause well to fan the flames of this partnering of terms.Especially when the mainstream media tends to equate narcissism with simple selfishness and entitlement as in this article from CNN.
Nor does it do much for us on a personal healing scale except to help us understand that certain behaviour is unnacceptable, that we deserve better and that we are not alone. After that though, focusing on the abusers issues can lead back into the dance of co-dependency, putting the focus on the abuser again instead of ourselves.
We cannot cure them even if we understand them, we only have the power to change and heal ourselves.
After all it is not our job to diagnose them, the abusers – but to concentrate on healing ourselves. I think the focus we place on the abuser in trying to figure out why – giving it a name and grouping their behaviours under its banner – only keeps us trapped in their world.
Who cares why? Let’s just stop standing for it, ya know?
Calling them a narcissist does not make it true and it doesn’t provide any solutions for prevention.
In my opinion we have too much wrong with our concept of what mental illness is, let alone what narcissism is to keep equating it with abuse.
Unlike the CNN article suggests it’s origins are much more complicated than over praise and low expectations and the consequences of true narcissism are much darker and a thousand times more painful than perceived rudeness.
And yet, memes and descriptions of narcissistic behaviour often eloquently and succinctly capture the mindset and tactics of abusers. So I’ll probably keep posting them with a disclaimer and a link to this post.
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