I’m forty years old now. I remember when that seemed ancient. I’m glad I was wrong!
Because whatever I imagined life would be like, it wasn’t this…and I’ve got a lot of work to do in every facet of my life…so being too ancient to accomplish my dreams would be decidedly inconvenient, considering I just woke up!
Okay, so I wasn’t really asleep for 23 years, it just feels like it.
You see, a year and a half ago – I asked my one day to be ex husband for a divorce. It was a long time coming, I’d been gearing up to leave for years, way back to the beginning, really, I can see that in hindsight…but I could never pull the trigger and he was never one to let me go willingly…
So that’s where this is coming from…
Much to my astonishment, I’ve become the tired cliche – a middle aged woman on a quest for purpose, identity and connection – re-discovering and re-inventing a life gone horribly sideways.
Or did it?
I can’t seem to decide from one day to the next…some moments were so, so hard, but I couldn’t be me without them.
And I like me…
Most of the time.
And I’m not thoroughly dissatisfied with life. I quite like it for the most part. I’ve found new love and I’m moving forward. At a snail’s pace, but forward.
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