Depositphotos_85670208_originalI’ve never surfed in my life, but I still visualize success like a wave.

And I’ve ridden the wave…so close…I have tasted success. In various ways, for oodles of things over the years.

But tonight, I’ve realised that I have consistently failed to ride the wave…

It comes, and I have a taste of success.

Then I do exactly nothing with it. I fail to leverage the success into something more…into a next.

Often, I have simply changed direction.

From putting together a cheerleading team (even though I don’t have an athletic bone in my body and had to learn from books and video tapes) consisting of girls (and one boy) in grades 4 through 9 – when I was a young mom to two sons in a small Northern Alberta Town. (McLennan, around 2000ish)

To helping the grade 9’s create a video that won first place in the video competition. Granted, the other teams all submitted PowerPoint presentations and their team was the only one who made an actual video. That was in McLennan too.

And later…

Attending a Woman of the Year Gala as a nominee and then flying off for a three day speaking gig in Ontario later that same night. In the same month my name was in a story in Chatelaine magazine (yes it was just a networking round-up, but still!!)  (October 2010)

And others…

I was reminded tonight of my first successful (as in I actually made a direct sale) webinar. It was awesome. And yet, I didn’t ride the wave.

It wasn’t always about him. Sometimes it was about me. Sometimes he influenced it a little. The night before we went to the Gala, he threatened not to come. After he’d insisted on coming and I’d paid for plane tickets. It was good he came along, as I would have been a wreck on my own in the Winnipeg airport with the fiasco that happened there. But it was bad in that he did not keep his promise not to drink. I don’t know why I expected that he would. Hope sprung eternal until the end.

But the fact that I didn’t take that success and build upon it. That was on me.  Instead, I changed directions. Got lost in the drudgery of restaurant work. All that I felt capable of doing, despite evidence to the contrary.

Why does abuse do that to a person?

In any case. It’s not all on him that I didn’t ride the wave of success.

And that is my a-ha! The pattern that I was blind to before.

I knew I got close and “failed” – I know I’d get all pumped up and then peter out. But I never really sat down and took advantage of hindsight until tonight.

Hmmm. Interesting.

Now that I know that it’s there and how it keeps showing up. How do I keep it from happening again?

Because next time, I’d like to ride the wave a little higher…a little longer…and catch another one…

That takes attacking some of the roots. Ugh! More healing. Have you ever noticed how it’s like Buckley’s – it works, but it tastes awful. Blech. Worth it though if it means I’m ready for the next wave.

Don’t forget to check out the pre-launch videos to Triumphant Tales. Today being day 3 of the challenge, I talk about my top 3 resource recommendations. Be sure to subscribe on YouTube so you don’t miss any of the short videos in the challenge for Family Violence Awareness Month.

 

 

 

 

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