My earliest writings online were based on personal experience, and had a loyal but limited audience. There was a website then called Themestream – and anyone could earn money for views of their writing. Ten cents per view if I recall correctly. That was back when you could get paid for reviews – not much, but pennies added up back then.
In any case – Themestream was the platform where I first wrote of my husband’s drinking and how it affected me. I stopped writing about his drinking (at least publicly) and started writing about other things when a co-workers wife told him what I wrote. I was proud of my work, and I shared it. And it backfired.
Instead of reaching out to help me, she squealed to my husband. I don’t know why, but it happened – and one of our epic battles ensued – and at one point I remember screaming, “If you don’t want me to write things like that than stop doing them – it’s not like you can say I’m lying about our reality.”
But, of course, I did stop writing about that. And Themestream stopped paying and then died. And I found other venues to write in.
And here I am again, writing on personal experience to a loyal but limited audience.
I circle back and see that the other survivors I have known through the years are circling back too.
The one who comes immediately to mind is Angela Giles Klocke (who first introduced me to the Ezine Queen who has evolved into Ali Brown which led to my first online business partnership effort The Childcare Sentinel) has Scars and Tiaras and speaks on family violence at conferences down in the States.
I don’t know what it is. It feels like there’s something in the air. Maybe it’s Spring. It’s always such a season of hope and joy.
In any case – today I begin again. Begin building this resource and towards this vision I have.
I know that working from home can seem like a huge hassle and potentially risky – but it’s really not. There’s such an abundance of information on everything you can possibly be thinking of doing (I’ll help connect you with the resources you need if you need help!) that it’s really not as risky as you might imagine.
And I can’t begin to tell you what a blessing it was – to be there for my children when they were young. I cherish that it was possible and that I chose that path back then. Yes, the current situation really sucks but nothing can rob me of the time I had back then and that’s the beauty that comes from having worked from home (most of the time…there were a few epic battles that led me to returning to the workforce on and off through the years, I always drifted home…)
Working from home can be the perfect solution to dealing with needing an income while also needing to stay home for your children. But you won’t find me telling you it’s easy.
It is and it isn’t.
Business isn’t rocket science and it’s fairly simple to work that part out. You just have to find your niche and be willing to work hard. You’ll have to put blinders on and ignore the promises six figure incomes in four hour work weeks – (it’s not that such things aren’t possible it’s that they aren’t possible without time, effort or investment).
Or find another site that supports survivors in skills to get the kind of jobs that can support a family apart from the abuser. (I’ll look for some when I find time…the only secure way I know of making money is to sell my knowledge and my skills…so that’s what I teach)
And if you do got the business route you have to be prepared to do battle with yourself – business on it’s own requires personal work – if you’re doing it right you grow as a person as you grow as a business. If you’re a survivor – well you’ve got more personal work to do – and even more so if you’re still in the chaos.
But keep in mind, I was in the chaos when I began.
My freedom number changed through the years and I never quite made it.
In the end my freedom number was $5000 in a month.
I told myself when I got there, I could begin the process of leaving for real.
I didn’t – I burst into tears incomprehensibly on my then best friend’s doorstep when I realized I’d grossed nearly $10,000 one month, but it’s another long story and a whole year later before it finally ended in separation.
My point is – you don’t have to have it all together and know all the answers to begin. I still don’t have all the answers. I just have a job I love, a man I love and an amazing life I love and a vision for helping others – those in the midst of madness and those who have escaped the chaos of intimate partner abuse – to have the means to truly enjoy the freedom.
And that’s why I’m circling around again. Bringing together what I’ve learned over the years and really going for it – he silenced me on Themestream – but I won’t be silenced anymore.
Circling around again – and ready to go where I haven’t dared before.
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