Who this site is for:
Victims and Survivors of Intimate Partner Abuse
If you’re currently in an abusive relationship, recovering from an abusive relationship or provide services for those affected by domestic violence, I invite you to explore the resources here and (if you like what you see) share it with others who can benefit from the messages here.
Small Business Owners & Online Entrepreneurs
In support of my personal cause, I use my writing talents to provide you with the amazing bio you deserve. Most people can talk about their products or services with pride, but get tongue tied (or develop writer’s block) when it comes to writing for themselves. I have a talent for making my clients sound amazing without being boastful and for capturing just the right voice to connect with your target market while still sounding like “you”. Purchase your customized bio package and support a great cause – it’s win-win all day long!
Event Organizers who need experienced, passionate speakers
Maximize your investment with the flexible and comprehensive topic range I can provide. I’ll work with you to make your event a success – including to explore what I have available, but be aware I can customize most packages to your specific needs.
How it’s organized:
Being a creative person, I find that sometimes what I think makes sense is completely confusing to others. So while I work to keep resources categorized for easy access and relevant to the survivors journey, if you need specific direction just get in touch and I’ll send you a direct link to the resources you might be looking for.
What you’ll find:
You’re going to find resources for developing self esteem and sustainable. If you’re looking for quick fixes or no-effort schemes, you won’t find them here. Nothing I can offer eliminates the need for ambition or hard work. I can offer hope of a better future, but you’ll have to provide the power and the passion to get from here to there.
In the support services and opinions, you’ll find understanding, grace and patience, but you won’t find coddling or room for excuses.
This site is based on the premise that people succumb to unhealthy relationships for many varied reasons, and while it’s important to understand the roots of our issues in order to heal from the experience – in the end it doesn’t matter how one got there – getting to a place of emotional and financial health is vital to getting and staying safe from family violence. It’s too easy to fall into old habits or end up in situations that are increasingly dangerous if you don’t take time to heal and learn in the aftermath. To do that, you need cash and you need confidence.
A Difficult Path to a Brighter Vision
Self employment can provide both.
It’s a tough journey, even when all the stars line up and your departure is easy.
And it’s never easy, that’s just wishful thinking. Leaving an abusive situation is hard. Staying out is hard. Finding your place in the world afterwards is, you guessed it, hard.
No one who has endured or escaped from an abusive situation will deny it. The road out can be as terrifying and unpredictable as living in it. It doesn’t get easier right away. It takes time – often with tears and pain and uncertainty that can only be expected, but not predicted.
Leaving an abusive situation is fraught with risk and it’s not being over-dramatic to say potentially deadly.
Starting and running a business is by comparison, much less risky. It is by no means an easy path either. But it is one of the few paths available that has a reasonable chance (with hard work, persistence and a willingness to learn) of providing for herself and her children in the aftermath of divorce.
Advocate for Change & Stability
I’ve always been an advocate of working from home, even when I was “happily” married. Bringing in an income while being available to my children was a high priority from the start. And to be honest, with the meager job skills and limited education I had at the time I became a mother, I wouldn’t have qualified for a wage that would cover child care costs.
In my case, if it hadn’t been for the skills I learned as I< worked from home, my grade 12 education would still only qualify for entry level service jobs – but what I learned of marketing, publicity and design transformed minimum wage into a professional one in a job I love.
It’s a challenge to juggle parenting, a full time job and childcare costs – and abuse intensifies the challenges. At the best of times, in today’s economy it can be hard enough to simply find a rewarding job that pays a living wage, finding one that also has the flexibility to accommodate days of for potential court proceedings and certain child emergencies can be daunting.
Not for everyone, and that’s okay
Statistically speaking, only 20% of a given population is likely to be entrepreneurial. So, I’m not vain enough to think I can convince everyone to become self employed or a business owner. I’m a huge proponent of entrepreneurial socialism, but I respect that not everyone is going to have the desire to start or run their own business because it’s by no mean certain or easy. So if you just know you aren’t into starting your business despite the financial rewards that can result, you’ll just want to shortcut and stick to the empowerment portions of the website, eventually I will collect links to alternative career< options (though it will never be high priority for this site) in the meantime, if you are a survivor – you need confidence, healthy boundaries and other emotional needs met – even if you’d prefer to be an employee.
Running your own business is certainly not for everyone, but I believe that survivors are uniquely suited to success – the sheer tenacity of enduring and escaping an abusive relationship can serve well in business. A part time home based business can supplement an inadequate full time income or one can throw their all into building a lasting business legacy. There are no limits on the freedom one can achieve – and all begins when you start to dream and it becomes real when you truly believe.
Attempting to be gender equitable
*I’m a woman – so I naturally have a better understanding of abuse from a female perspective, but I by no means believe that family violence is limited to that perpetuated by men. It is my belief that women are more likely to target children than men, and this in turn often creates men who abuse. Just because my abusers were men doesn’t mean that I believe only men are abusers.
I am well aware that resources are limited for male victims of domestic violence whether those victimized as children or adults, but other than trying to assure that my works acknowledge that – I’m not sure I can inspire or represent men as survivors – but I’ll be on the look out for such a resource as my journey progresses.
In the meantime, I’ll make every conscious effort to gear this site towards all victims of domestic violence – as both women and men can perpetuate and be victims of the many facets of abuse; including physical, psychological, verbal, financial, sexual, emotional tactics.
Parental and Spousal Abuse
For some, with abusive parents the healing begins when childhood ends. For others, it takes a myriad of abusive situations before the journey towards betterment begins. And while there are huge differences in the healing journey and the resources available to survivors of different sexes is different, the goal is the same – to become healthy and happy and to raise a new generation of non-abusers and non-victims.
The Game Plan
Vision I – Establishing a two week camping workshop for moms and kids – learn to fish literally and figuratively with boat trips, swimming lessons and crafts alongside workshops on parenting, boundaries, assertiveness and practical living skills (eg. budgeting, writing a resume, starting a home based business
Vision II – Creating a two year recovery community where escaped families can access subsidized living, mental health support, childcare, counseling and work experience in an integrated, safe and supportive (but not restrictive) way.
Building towards the vision through this website as I help women with what I have available so far, raising funds through what I already know and have talent with – public speaking, course sales & writing services – as I learn what else I need to know to make my Visions come to fruition.
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